Best BDSM Dating Sites For Fetish Lovers (My Experience With The Top BDSM Platforms)

bdsm dating sitesBDSM is a niche that has gained a ton of popularity over the past 15 years due to novels, movies, and now mainstream media portraying it in such an open light. The truth is that the BDSM culture has long played a role in fantasies of many men and women all around the world, and that these fetishes/desires have only recently become less taboo and socially accepted. With that being said, you can’t just go around screaming your fetishes at every guy/girl you meet and for the most part, discussions about such intimate and naughty desires are typically kept for a later time. This can make dating difficult for a lot of individuals who just want to cut right to the chase but can’t; and if you’re into something that is perceived as a little bit kinky, you just have to hope and pray that the people you’re meeting are into the same thing. Well, not anymore.

 

Best Datings Sites For BDSM Lovers (Kink & Fetish Apps)

 

1. FetLife 5.0 out of 5.0 stars

dating for BDSM loversIt should come as no surprise to most people that FetLife tops our list and is displayed as the best BDSM dating site of the year. It has long been touted as having one of the biggest site populations out there and when it comes to kink diversity, there’s not many that can match it. For that reason, we have to give the platform the respect it deserves and have it listed near the top since it truly gives one of the best BDSM experiences out there. The beauty of this site is that you can search for other members based on their physical appearance and kink preferences which makes filtering out for potential partners significantly easier and smoother as a user. Most users find the greatest amounts of success in larger, North American cities however FetLife is truly global and with enough persistence, one can find a suitable partner even in smaller towns/communities.

TRY FETLIFE

 

2. Alt.com 4.9 out of 5.0 stars

best bdsm sitesAlt.com is another world-renowned company when it comes to kink-orientated dating, and deciding between them and FetLife was quite a tough decision. They both target individuals who are strictly in search of BDSM/kinky dating and they both have quite a massive user-base. However, Alt’s site population is slightly smaller and they don’t offer as much diversity as it pertains to the kink categories themselves. This is why we couldn’t quite place it above FetLife; however, Alt.com still has a ton of options for those in search of more traditional kinks or basic BDSM practices. The real freaky stuff is generally found on other sites though.

TRY ALT.COM

 

3. 2Fuck 4.8 out of 5.0 stars

2fuck hookups

2Fuck is one of the newest hookup sites on the web, however it is on the come-up and is quickly becoming a favorite of many in search of the naughtiest and dirtiest kinks out there. In terms of diversity, it doesn’t really get much better than this and no matter how naughty you think your desires are, chances are that there’s somebody on this platform with even sicker thoughts and ideas. Needless to say, it is a very intense website and the users are pretty intense themselves too, so if you’re into the darker stuff and have moved past the basic BDSM stuff, this might be the perfect site for you. It’s important to keep in mind that while the diversity and UI of the site is fantastic, it is still in its infancy stage and might not be all that great outside of the major cities of North America. If you’re close to any metropolitan area, then you should face no trouble in finding a suitable partner to enjoy yourself with.

TRY 2FUCK

 

4. BeNaughty 4.5 out of 5.0 stars

kinky dating

BeNaughty has a lot of the benefits that you’ll find on smaller websites like 2Fuck, however it generally faces the same issues (lack of users in small towns, occasional bugs, etc.). Even with those nagging issues, BeNaughty is still one of the best BDSM oriented dating sites out there. If you’re into chains, whips, and locks, this site will connect you with users with the same interests in a matter of hours, if not less. Their algorithm is truly one of the best out there and from our experience, it has a healthier ratio of men-women and that makes it more enjoyable if you’re a guy. The problem with many of the bigger sites is that they’re generally perceived as being a “sausage fest” and this keeps the platform from growing further. Thankfully for us, this isn’t an issue and the ratios are quite good on BeNaughty and the guys and girls on here tend to be a little bit younger than on 2Fuck and other platforms.

TRY BENAUGHTY

 

5. Reddit/Forums 4.0 out of 5.0 stars

BDSM Alternative dating

If you’ve ever found someone to fool around with on an internet forum or somewhere like Reddit, you probably already know that it can be hit-or-miss. Sometimes you find someone worthy of your attention, but other times it can be a creep or someone who looks nothing like the person in their pictures. This is why it’s generally recommended to stay away from forums and stick to the dating sites, but with high risk comes high reward. Before Craigslist was forced to tighten up their website, the go-to place for kinky dating was Craigslist Personals. With this site no longer being a viable option for most people, we’ve compiled a list of the best Craigslist Personals Alternatives that a person can use to find partners for their BDSM kinks. The list isn’t perfect but so far, these are the platforms we’ve found to be most effective at finding suitable partners online.

TRY ALTERNATIVES

 

How To Pick The Best Dating Site For BDSM Lovers

The problem with having too many choices is that it can make it a daunting task for readers to identify and filter out which sites are good and which ones aren’t. With enough persistence and a little bit of luck, virtually anyone should be able to find success on each one of the options we’ve listed. However, some require far more effort than others and this means that the smartest decision would be to weed out the good from the bad in the beginning. You see, while FetLife may be the best overall platform to go with, it may not necessarily be the best BDSM site in Florida for example (*I’m not sure how effective FetLife is in Florida*) and this means that you’ll likely be better off finding an alternative. Here’s how to find the best choice for you.

1. Try Their Trials

Most (but not all) respectable website out there offer trial services in which you can purchase a week’s worth of the service and have the option to get a full refund if you’re not satisfied. The quickest and easiest way to determine if a site is worth your time is by trying out their limited trials to see what kind of value you can get out of it.

2. Determine Their Popularity in Your Area

If for whatever reason you are unable to try out their trials, you’ll likely want to see how popular these websites are in your area. By doing this, you can see how much volume you’ll be dealing with and whether or not you’ll be running into the same people constantly. Chances are that your best choices are FetLife and Alt.com if you live in a smaller city, but you never know until you sign up.

3. Read Online Reviews

Generally reading reviews is a good thing and is recommended before making big purchases (especially online) but there are some problems with this strategy. There are typically a lot of disingenuous and/or misleading reviews online about certain services which makes this strategy a little bit useless. Sometimes a competitor of a certain brand is trying to hurt their image by writing a poor review while other times, companies can hire people out to write reviews that show them in a positive light. For this reason, we don’t typically recommend our readers to go the review route and stick to the trials.

 

BDSM Dating Sites Now Vs. In The Past

While there aren’t quite as many options out there as we’d like, the BDSM community has taken major strides in the past few years and more and more platforms seem to pop up each year. This has definitely had a positive impact on the community and has promoted growth internally, but there are some problems that accompany this new movement. For starters, all of these choices that we’re presented with has somewhat diluted the community and has resulted in too many individuals using too many different websites/apps. Sure, you can find someone suitable on pretty much all of the platforms we’ve went over, but it would be much nicer if the entirety of the BDSM community could all be on one or two sites to make things easier for those of us that are more hard-core. Just looking at things from a broad perspective though, it’s not hard to tell that the changes that have taken place in regards to this industry (if you can call it that) have mostly been for the better.

 

Is It Easy To Meet People on Fetish/BDSM Dating Websites?

Yes, people are serious about fetishes. Once you join and interact with the members, you can find plenty of people who will chat with you in the forums and groups. Depending on which hours you go online and the size of the fetish community in your area, you might find many people eager to talk at once.

Even though you can find users who enjoy the same fetishes as you in these online communities, that doesn’t mean they will meet you offline. As with any dating site, the members of fetish dating websites need to feel a sense of trust and familiarity before they’ll meet you in person.

 

Are you a Dom, Sub, or Switch?

Sessions of play are sometimes called “scenes” requiring a Dom, Sub, or Switch. If a website asks you whether you’re a Dom, Sub, or Switch, this means whether you like to be:

  • DOM – the one giving pleasure/pain
  • SUB – the one receiving pleasure/pain
  • SWITCH – one who can play either role

Despite what you would assume, the Receiver/Sub is usually the one who directs “the scene.”

Dominants are trying their best to give pleasure to the submissive so that the submissive will keep using a Dom’s services. Successful negotiation increases trust and partners can closely bond together after so many sessions.

BDSM players do not like an abusive or arrogant Dom that doesn’t understand the psychology or responsibility of directing the scene. Bad Doms who don’t know what they’re doing are often shunned from the community, so be careful!

Respecting Hard and Soft Limits

Speaking of rules, trust is easy to promise but sometimes hard to live up to. Don’t assume you can improvise. Stick to the system of hard/soft limits to avoid making an enemy for life.

If someone mentions any of these phrases when discussing fantasies, pay close attention:

  • Hard Limits: Never do this – going beyond one’s hard limits is breaking their trust
  • Soft Limits: Yes, the sub may be negotiable, but it can only happen according to their level of comfort – not yours
  • Safe Words: If a sub gets scared and uses the “safe word” (something you both agree upon before the scene happens) then that means STOP. Don’t resume until given the go-ahead
  • Red, Yellow, Green: Instead of a safe word, there may be levels of comfort. Such as Red: Stop, Yellow: Proceed slowly and cautiously, and Green: More, More, More!

 

Bottom Line: BDSM Dating Sites Work If You Make Them Work For You

dating sites for BDSM lovers

If you’re not new to this space, then you probably already know how frustrating it can be to try and find a suitable partner in the real world, let alone online where everyone is hidden behind a computer screen.With that being said, there is still a lot of potential out there for certain individuals and this means that the space of kink-oriented dating is far from dead; in fact the complete opposite is true. The percentage of individuals who are “coming out” about their naughty fetishes and fantasies is rising every single year and with it, so too is the amount of dating sites available.